As I continue to work through this novel, I feel like I am attempting to decipher a code that was made to keep something hidden. I feel like every word has a double meaning and I feel lost in the attempt at understanding both meanings of each word. This is as painful, but I find a certain enjoyment in this pain, just as Dostoyevsky finds enjoyment in the pain of being helpless, or how he finds enjoyment in educing the pain of a toothache. I like reading this story (if it can be called that) because it consumes 110% of my attention and focus and it challenges me to read in between the lines and think outside the box. Dostoyevsky manages to keep me interested though I do not agree with many of his ideas, like the enjoyment found it causing suffering to those I care about hen I am suffering. He does, however, make me want to keep reading because he creates a certain degree of curiosity in the reader as to what absurdity will come next.
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