thursday blog

I've always been conscious of the idea that we are the most important people to ourselves. I have always acknowledged that. But the example of telling/asking your friend about the christmas break really ended up standing out most to me. I noticed it in myself countlessly, but never really came to terms with myself about it, as I thought that I was one of the few to actually notice that within ourselves. The idea that we care about ourselves has been growing on me quite a bit today. I found myself questioning why I did everything that I did today. To me, this is a clear contradiction to the way religion and society is presented to us. They promote sincerity, contribution to others, and the idea that selfishness is inherently evil. Moreover, I believe that the reason why Dostoyevsky emphasizes so much on the contradictions of the underground man is to parallel the contradictions in our society. We are inherently selfish, adaptive creatures.

The underground man says that although people tell him that he should leave Petersburg, he stays. He knows that he should leave (because he's a burden), but chooses to stay because he wants to make the point to the reader that we are selfish. To me, Petersburg in the book is a direct parallel to Earth and our society. He says that he knows that he needs to leave Petersburg (Earth), but that he stays anyways. He is expressing the idea that after 40, we should just leave, but can't because society is a contradiction.