Monday

I sincerely wonder how Dostoyevsky could have remained any sort of sane while writing this book or at any point in his life. There is so much going on in the book, so many ideas and not only that, but also most of, if not all of the ideas contradict each other in a perfectly logical way. I don't know much about Dosotyevsky, but this book makes me almost sure of the fact that he is an extremely intelligent, but insane man. This also makes me wonder if someone can be extremely intelligent, have clarity and remand sane at the same time.
Today we touched upon this idea that is highly spoken about: it is not about the end, it is about the journey. The first time I heard this idea I kind of accepted it and moved along, not really caring about its implications. In seventh grade, I had a history teacher who introduced this sort of hierarchy of needs (not exactly like Maslow's but something of the sort) that we needed in order to survive. To this day I remember that one of them was having a goal, something to aim for. He stressed the fact that once you met that goal, you needed to almost immediately have another one. I think this idea highly relates to what Dostoyevsky was saying. We always need to have a goal because achieving the goal is no where near as great as working towards it. Once we achieve it there is this initial bit of happiness- but that is temporary. What comes after is one of the most empty moments we have. We feel like there is nothing more to us this strange emptiness that I can't fully describe, I only know it's not something that we want to be feeling at all.